Growing a Joy Filled Marriage

Finances, pressures and work, family, parenting, commutes, personal and health issues, all contribute to the stress that steals joy and life out of our marriages. Stress is inevitable, and life happens, so how can we grow and maintain a joy-filled, happy marriage?

If you have ever done any gardening you know there are no shortcuts to having a beauitful lawn or garden. When you drive by a house that has a beautifully manicured lawn, filled with flowers, tell yourself that you are looking at hard work. Gardens begin with the hard work of digging, planing, and watering, but then have to be continually maintained to keep the weeds out, but its worth it.

Just as we don't expect our gardens to grow beautifully by themselves, so why would we expect our marriages to grow beautifully without the daily work of pulling weeds and planting seeds? Ted Lowe said, "A joyess marriage doesn't typically happen with an explosion, but by erosion.

For Amy and I, what has breathed life into our marriage is scheduling fun times together on a regular basis. After almost 40 years of marriage, fun is not an option, it's a necessity. We can't wait for the big vacation, or the days off to start having fun. We need to be intentional about having fun and laughing together a little everyday and at least once a week. Proverbs 17:22 says it best, "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Do you need healing in your marriage? Don't wait until you have it all together - go have FUN now. Even if you haven't solved your latest disagreement, go have FUN now. Put in the comments what you love to do as a couple to have fun.

Valentine's Day Every Day

The origins of Valentine’s Day are fabled and famous. A bishop by the name of Valentinus constantly preached the gospel of Jesus Christ in central Italy in the third century AD. As the story goes, once he was imprisoned for his faith, and judge (Asterius), responsible for Valentinus’ imprisonment, tested his message and faith by challenging him to heal his blind daughter. He obliged and his daughter was healed and her sight restored. In response, the judge destroyed all his household idols, released all the Christian inmates and was baptized.

Valentinus was later arrested for preaching the gospel and was sent to Rome, where he was questioned by the Roman emperor Claudius Gothicus himself. Claudius condemned him to death and he was executed on February 14th, 269 AD. Shortly before his beheading Valentinus reportedly wrote a letter to judge Asterius’ daughter and signed it, “Your Valentine.” Also, legend has it that Valentinus would secretly officiate weddings for Christian soldiers so that the new husbands would not have to go to war. He is said to have reminded them of their Christian duty to God and their spouses by sending them red hearts made of parchment. Some of Valentine’s Day traditions stem from these three things.

While parts of this story might be more myth than true legend, Valentinus was a real person who lived his life practicing mercy and love for God’s people everywhere he went. Even his name, Valentinus, means “containing valor” and “courageous, worthy, strong.” So here we see the selfless, sacrificial love of one brave person literally influenced and transformed the world. What could be possible if every Christ-follower selflessly loved others the way Valentinus did?

And aside from the life of Valentine, what if Christ-followers practiced caring for others selflessly and sacrificially the way scripture directs us? Paul writes in Philippians 2: 2-4 “…then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Whether single, divorced, engaged or married, we can and should practice loving others like Paul describes. We should value others above ourselves and look at the interest of others as more important than our own.

Don’t wait until you have a date, or Valentine’s day, or get married to start practicing Christlike, selfless love. Start now! Find a friend of the same gender or opposite gender and practice loving them the way Christ loves us. And let your motivation be only their best interest, not self serving. And if you’re married, don’t see Valentine’s day as simply a chance to score points with your spouse for sexual reasons, but see it as a reminder of how we should live year round, loving your spouse and children the way Christ loves you.

Try This: Look for one way to help a friend that requires your time, effort and energy. It could be helping them fix their car, clean their house, give them a ride somewhere, or provide a meal for them.

The Amazing True Christmas Story

About two years ago, during the pandemic, our church gave out food and toys to hundreds of families in need through our drive through Christmas event. We also wanted to give them hope through the gospel, so I wrote the Christmas story in English and Spanish, had it printed on paper, and we gave it to over a 1,000 children. These events inspired the book, The Amazing True Christmas Story. Our daughter, Abigail, beautifully illustrated the story and brought the words to life with pictures. We pray it will touch the hearts of children and adults alike as they read the story of Jesus' birth, and inspire them to say YES to God.

Christmas is a time to give and receive gifts, but the greatest gift we have ever been given is Jesus who gave this life so we could truly live. Just published by Xulon Press, The Amazing True Christmas Story, is available now on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Xulon Press. From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!