Every Christmas season we sing this famous yuletide standard "Hark the Herald Angels Sing." Many people mistakenly think that the angel's name is either Hark or Herald!
Hark is actually an old english word for "listen well." We could be singing, " listen intently, lend an ear, pay attention - the angel's are saying something important." Listening might be one of the most important skills and habits a person could develop. Listening well helps us understand, learn, empathize and make important decisions.
Erich Fromm, in his posthumous book "The Art of Listening," explains how to listen in a way that makes life meaningful and significant:
The basic rule for practicing this art is the complete concentration of the listener. Nothing of importance must be on the listener's mind, it's best that they are free from anxiety and/or greed. The listener must have a capacity for empathy with another person and be able to feel the experience of the other as if it were their own experience.
Deitrich BonHoeffer said, "The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. It is God’s love for us that He not only gives us His Word but also lends us His ear..... One who cannot listen long and patiently will presently be talking beside the point and be never really speaking to others, albeit he be not conscious of it."
Such a big part of living together with those we love is to listen to them long and patiently without judging or criticizing. Listening effectively means completely focusing on who's talking without thinking of a response, critique or solution. This can be hard when the one we're listening to is our spouse! What further complicates this is that some of what they're saying might make our ears burn because we're part of what's causing them pain or trouble or confusion. But listen well we must. And listening long and well with empathy (more on empathy later) is what causes the love relationship to grow and flourish and last.
In the spirit of this season, maybe more lyrics from another Carol are poignant:
"Do you see what I see? Do you hear what I hear?"
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