Ruth Bell Graham said, "The happy marriages are made up of two good forgivers." I realized early on that I had to lead the way in saying "I'm sorry" to Amy. I learned that I needed to lose the words, "If - I hurt you, I'm sorry." "If" is a word that communicates "I won't acknowledge my wrong attitude, hurtful words, or insensitive comment. Because if I say I'm sorry, I won't be the "last man standing."
The reality is that for a marriage to be beautiful and durable, we need to get better at saying I'm sorry from the heart. It's not the last person standing, but the first one on their knees asking forgiveness. If you want to escalate a disagreement and let the fires of anger flare up, simply keep the "last man standing" mentality. But if you want to de-escalate and extinguish the argument, someone get on their knees.
Without sounding sexist, I always recommend that the man leads the way in this crucial area of forgiveness. Every time I've initiated the process and humbled myself, even for the smallest mistake on my part, Amy has responded in similar fashion.
(By the way, this is Amy, and I approve of this message)
TRUTH TO PONDER: Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense.
DISCUSS TOGETHER: Think of a time when you said something you regret to your spouse. Was it easy or hard for you to ask for forgiveness? Explain
TRY THIS: Practice being good forgivers. 1. Identify what needs to be forgiven. 2. Be quick to apologize. 3. Be specific in your apology. "I said this. "I did this" I was wrong. 4. Ask your spouse, "Will you forgive me?"
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