Over time, every marriage can drift apart. It's not intentional. No couple stands at the altar sharing their love for one another expecting in 10 years to live separate lives. It happens slowly, in tiny increments. We get busy with work, busy with hobbies, busy with the kids and we lose the close emotional connection we once shared.
Dave and I have had dry spells in our marriage. We felt like the emotional "plug had been pulled" on our relationship. Outside pressure began to weigh us down - subtle distractions and stress. During one busy season, when we found out baby number five was on the way (our surprise blessing), I was overwhelmed taking care of four little ones, while Dave worked 60 hours a week. I remember the day when I sat him down and said, "If I am going to make it through this season I need time with Jesus, time alone, and time with you. I need regular time to talk to you on a deep level." Because we made the choice to stay connected, to have deep meaningful conversations with each other, we stayed close emotionally. It was the glue we needed to keep our marriage strong. But we have found staying connected is a continual choice we have to make throughout our marriage.
We know this doesn't come easily for some, but in order to stay connected as a couple you have to bypass the small talk, the quick hellos and goodbyes, and share your thoughts and feelings at a deeper level.
"Marriage is a continual process of seeking and losing emotional connection and then reaching out and finding it again. It is a living thing, and if we don't attend to it, it begins to atrophy." Dr. Dave Stoop
Truth to Ponder: I urge you my brothers and sisters, for the sake of the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, to agree to live in unity with one another and put to rest any division that attempts to tear you apart. Be restored as one united body living in perfect harmony. Form a consistent choreography among yourselves having a common perspective with shared values. 1 Corinthians 1:10 Passion Translation
What do you observe in 1 Corinthians 1:10 keeps us connected? What causes us to drift apart?
Discuss together: What usually causes you to lose the emotional connection in your marriage? How can you help each other become more aware when you are are feeling disconnected? What choices can you make right now to regularly stay connected as a couple?
Try This: Sit down as a couple this week, and take at least 3-5 minutes each to share what is going on in your lives. Be a good listener, not a fixer. No one is right or wrong. It's just a time to share your heart and connect emotionally.
Comments