Have you ever read a book on how to communicate better with your spouse and you continue to fail miserably? Have you ever tried to hold your tongue and you end up saying something you regret? Maybe you have read all the marriage books, gone to a few marriage retreats, and you still you seem to be getting nowhere. I know how frustrating it can be to do what the best marriage experts tell you to do, and yet your marriage is not improving. Amy and I have always encouraged couples to never stop investing in their marriages. In our 38 years of marriage, we have read the best marriage books, attended dozens of marriage seminars, and been mentored by some incredible couples. We highly encourage all the above and continue to invest in our marriage in these ways.
But we have also come to realize that to have the marriage we love, we have to regularly examine what is going on in our heart because the root determines the fruit. We can memorize "5 Top Ways to Communicate With Your Spouse," but if we are harboring resentment in our heart or un-forgiveness, that root of un-forgiveness will ultimately determine the fruit of our communication with our spouse, not the article we read or the counsel we received. The condition of our heart is what we need to tending too regularly to make sure there are no weeds of bitterness, resentment, or hardness from being wounded. Choose to forgive, keep short accounts, release any bitterness, receive healing for damaged emotions through counseling and prayer so the wise, time tested marriage advice you hear and read about takes root in a healthy heart and soul and bears good fruit.
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