The 3rd time we need to extend grace (protect) our spouse is when they sin. This is when extending grace is the hardest. Your marriage partner will sin. Sometimes against you, sometimes against God, sometimes against others. 1 Peter 4:8 says,
Let your love be intense… Deep – fervent – quick to forgive and cover over.
I must choose to extend grace over and over again when my spouse sins. It doesn’t make what they did right. It hurts and wounds - yet for a marriage to last for a lifetime- there needs to true repentance on the part of the offender and there needs to be total forgiveness on the part of the one who has been hurt.
Many times in marriage there’s a lack of total repentance. The offender says they are sorry, but continues to hurt their spouse. For marriage to last forever there needs to be sincere repentance. There can also be a lack of total forgiveness. What we tend to do is to stock pile, take inventory, and categorize our spouse's sins. But love keeps no record of wrongs. True love covers over sins and faults and failures and burns the records. God doesn’t do that with us, so we can’t do that with each other. You can tell when you’ve totally forgiven because you don’t reference or bring up their past sin in the conversation - ever!
Colossians 3:13 says, GW - “Put up with each other... and forgive as quickly and completely as the Lord forgave you.”
How quickly does God forgive us? Right away. It’s done even before we mess up! That’s pretty quick! How completely does the Lord forgive? You wouldn’t be here listening today if it wasn’t complete! When a spouse has betrayed us, or a friend has sinned against us, how can we totally and completely forgive? By God’s grace. It’s the hardest thing we will do, but when we do it not only frees us but the offender.
RT Kendall wrote a book entitled “Total Forgiveness.”
Unless you totally forgive them you will be in chains. Release them, and you will be released. The ultimate proof of total forgiveness takes place when we sincerely petition the Father to let those who have hurt us off the hook—even if they have hurt not only us, but also those close to us.” R. T. Kendall
We all want a love that lasts a lifetime. To have this love we need to do what 1 Corinthians 13:7 says, Love always protects. Love covers and protects when our spouse's faults and flaws irritate us, when their words or actions hurt us, and when they sin against us. Love lasts a lifetime when our spouse is truly sorry and seeks to change,
and when there is total forgiveness. Say you are sorry, extend grace - love each other even when it hurts.
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